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Friday, March 31, 2006

Mexico: A Lovely Place to Off Yourself

I realize I don't post about my family and its infinite unhealthiness that often, but today I got an email from my father that I will reproduce here, removing the identifying information:

From: [my father]
To: [my sister and I]
Subject: My Itinerary
Date: Fri 03/31/06 04:51 PM


I am leaving tomorrow from [airport] on Aero Mexico # [removed] to Cancun
returning Sat, April 8 to [airport] on Are Mexico # [removed] arriving at [removed]

I am staying at the ...

I will have my cell phone but it probably won't work

In the event of a problem,

My accounts are at [local bank].
[local] Employee's Credit Union
Smith Barney in [place]
And I have a 401K through [something I've never heard of]
I have an Account for Grandma's Estate (checking) at [a different bank]
I have a NYS life ins policy and a [county] life ins policy

I have to re do my will but it is in my will drawer. If there is an issue get Mr. [a local lawyer]. No wake or funeral If I can't donate my remains to UB med school (haven't done the ppr work yet) arrange for a cremation and have [his friend] do a elegy at a memorial.

Enough of that.

I will see you soon and bring you both ugly T shirts If you want something else let me know. I'll be home after 8 tonight.

Love you both


Also, my father has spontaneously given both of us money for car repairs, something I can't recall ever happening before. I did get some money once but it was only after a lot of asking and whining and general demeaning behavior. He asked for our SS#s within the past week so he could "take care of some stuff." I should point out that my father and I have had a rather rocky relationship and I guess his and my sister's relationship isn't the healthiest either. But he's never once discussed things like money with us. And when we tried to get him to tell us what he'd want done with him should he pass on (he's overweight and drinks way too much and doesn't take care of himself, and he hasn't remarried so all those things would be left to my sister and I) he didn't really have much to say though he did think we were trying to get him killed or something.

This is seriously the oddest email I have ever gotten and it is really weirding me out. I rather like morbid things and will admit to having discussed what I'd like done with me in the even of my untimely death but this is so out of character for him. Coming right on the heels of a sudden (positive!) change in his behavior to my sister and I, I can't help but be a little worried and confused.

But you know, at least now there's a plan and I won't have to deal with his crazy, Jerry-Fallwell's-college-educated brother going on about Jesus at the funeral. Because say what you want about him, my father is not down with the Jesus stuff. Good thing too since he married a nice Jewish girl from Long Island. And then got divorced, leaving my sister and I to get strange fatalistic emails.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


I'm siii-iiick. Really I just have a cold but I did spike a fever Tuesday and as fevers always make me hallucinatorily loopy, I left lab and went home and slept for, oh, four hours. Now I'm just stuffy and have the phone-sex voice. Which I don't think is sexy because for me it means "ow it hurts to talk" but I'm never one to say no to a complement on sounding good.

Also, the rats keep making me sneeze on top of the cold.

News: last Simpsons trivia we tied for third. We would have tied for second had Steve believed in me but no. Don't worry, he'll never ever live that down. Saw a ballet. Avoided St. Pat's. Had a dance show at Bryn Mawr, which always makes me think of the Spell-lympics episode and Lisa's dream about the Seven Sisters. Their campus is small but impressive, with lots of castle-y stone buildings. If only the damn girl who organized the thing had seen fit to actually give us legitimate directions and we hadn't gotten all lost in the burbs and therefore been late, it probably would have been fun.

I'm thinking it might be time to start a game of Match the Boy to the Ridiculous Tattoo. And I discovered that there is a sequel to The Rules, conveniently titled The Rules 2, which means more The Rules Drinking Game fun! For those of you who didn't live with Jessy and I, the The Rules drinking game consists of opening to a random page in the book (don't pay full price, they are cheap and plentiful at Goodwill) and drinking for every rule you've broken. Easy, fun, and it makes you feel both dirty and headed for spinsterhood! If you're keeping track, I think the only ones I haven't broken are "Don't date a married man" and "Don't go to a college just to be near him." As for the ones I've broken, well, you'll just have to play the game and figure it out.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Timwatch Returns

They totally messed with the MTP times during the Stupid Olympics in Which They Never Bothered to Show a Goddamn Hockey Game, Only Stupid Boring Ski Shit. Ahem. So Sunday it was back to normal, which is to say boring. I mean Tim had Jack Kemp on yet didn't make a single Buffalo comment? I'm so disappointed. And how could he not mention that South Dakota (unconstitutionally) banned abortions? I mean, that's some fucking news-analysis-worthy shit. At least when Schwartzenegger was on during the random-MTP-time phase I got to amuse myself by thinking of McBain references. Speaking of, less then a week until the next Simpsons Trivia...Team Spankological Protocol is going to kick some ass!

Otherwise, things are the same only slightly less depressing, probably because it has been sunny and light longer. And because despite my remaining conviction that my experiments aren't getting anywhere, the advisor seems to think they are and is relentless with her insistence that I just need a few more animals and...poof! Paper! Which is a lot nicer than when she agrees that I suck. And would work if our normal rat supplier wasn't out of rats, or if the rats we got from the other supplier weren't psychotic auto-cannibals. Personal-life-wise, I'd classify myself as tentatively happy/cautiously optimistic/waiting for the inevitable horrible revelation because I can't ever manage to just go with shit and be happy. And knitting a lot, which I will show with photos soon.