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Friday, March 31, 2006

Mexico: A Lovely Place to Off Yourself

I realize I don't post about my family and its infinite unhealthiness that often, but today I got an email from my father that I will reproduce here, removing the identifying information:

From: [my father]
To: [my sister and I]
Subject: My Itinerary
Date: Fri 03/31/06 04:51 PM


I am leaving tomorrow from [airport] on Aero Mexico # [removed] to Cancun
returning Sat, April 8 to [airport] on Are Mexico # [removed] arriving at [removed]

I am staying at the ...

I will have my cell phone but it probably won't work

In the event of a problem,

My accounts are at [local bank].
[local] Employee's Credit Union
Smith Barney in [place]
And I have a 401K through [something I've never heard of]
I have an Account for Grandma's Estate (checking) at [a different bank]
I have a NYS life ins policy and a [county] life ins policy

I have to re do my will but it is in my will drawer. If there is an issue get Mr. [a local lawyer]. No wake or funeral If I can't donate my remains to UB med school (haven't done the ppr work yet) arrange for a cremation and have [his friend] do a elegy at a memorial.

Enough of that.

I will see you soon and bring you both ugly T shirts If you want something else let me know. I'll be home after 8 tonight.

Love you both


Also, my father has spontaneously given both of us money for car repairs, something I can't recall ever happening before. I did get some money once but it was only after a lot of asking and whining and general demeaning behavior. He asked for our SS#s within the past week so he could "take care of some stuff." I should point out that my father and I have had a rather rocky relationship and I guess his and my sister's relationship isn't the healthiest either. But he's never once discussed things like money with us. And when we tried to get him to tell us what he'd want done with him should he pass on (he's overweight and drinks way too much and doesn't take care of himself, and he hasn't remarried so all those things would be left to my sister and I) he didn't really have much to say though he did think we were trying to get him killed or something.

This is seriously the oddest email I have ever gotten and it is really weirding me out. I rather like morbid things and will admit to having discussed what I'd like done with me in the even of my untimely death but this is so out of character for him. Coming right on the heels of a sudden (positive!) change in his behavior to my sister and I, I can't help but be a little worried and confused.

But you know, at least now there's a plan and I won't have to deal with his crazy, Jerry-Fallwell's-college-educated brother going on about Jesus at the funeral. Because say what you want about him, my father is not down with the Jesus stuff. Good thing too since he married a nice Jewish girl from Long Island. And then got divorced, leaving my sister and I to get strange fatalistic emails.


Blogger The Retropolitan said...

Well, at least he was thorough. My parents just keep telling me, "If we die soon -- and we will because we're sick -- then there's about $50 in the back of the closet. Good luck!"

8:11 PM  

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