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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Woo, Snark-o-Tron!

So thanks to the TVGasm Snark-o-Tron 8300 I laughed before my caffeine kicked in this morning.

here goes:

If neurochic and Bree from Desperate Housewives had a conversation, it would probably go like this:

neurochic: Hey Bree.

Bree: Yeah?

neurochic: Ever seen Troy from The Apprentice in person?

Bree: No, but that's because I'm a huge whore.


get one yourself: http://www.tvgasm.com/snark.html

Monday, January 24, 2005

There are energy vampires, right?

Since I think I've got a class full of them. Really. I thought it was just from the first-time nerves that I left my (three-hour) teaching session barely able to drag my ass up the steps to my office, but it happened again today. So I've decided that I'm teaching a bunch of energy vampires. They're not bad people, they're just sucking my life force. I honestly don't hate the kiddos as much as I thought I would. Most of them seem to be okay individuals. That's why I'm so confused as to the paralyzing exhaustion. Maybe the constant and repetitive explanation of how driving force affects the component currents of the action potential is what's doing it. You know, since I can't fucking explain conductance and equilibrium potential enough for them to stop fucking asking about it.

That's it. My students are sucking out my very life force. And I'm not even getting paid.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Time is Short:

So I have to lead my first lab and recitation in a day and a half, and I haven't even done the reading for the lectures yet. Oops. I honestly have no idea how to prepare for this. Every time I try to get ready, my whole being just rebels. How is one supposed to make the Nernst equation interesting, anyway? Meanwhile, lab stuff is just not letting up so it isn't as if I have all this time to be prepping my lectures anyway. Especially since I have to directly supervise two goddamn undergrads this term, so I have no actual lab time all to myself. At least not during anything approximating normal business hours. A week into the term, and already I'm the worst TA ever in the history of the universe. And I don't even care that much.

I feel like I'm just getting the will to live sucked right out of me. Not only do I not want to be a scientist right now, I'm not sure I want to be involved in any part of my life. I'm bored with my relationship, I don't have any good friends, I'm sick of Philadelphia, and I can't even seem to get my crafting motivation up. It took me so long to get (remotely) mentally stable, I really don't want to drift back. But I don't have the time to go back into therapy with all these demands. I wonder if I calmly present to the graduate advisor and say, "TA-ing is making me lose my mind, here is a copy of my medical history if you don't believe what could happen" if they'd let me not do it? Probably not. Since when is soul-crushing depression an excuse?

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Impending Doom:

My TA-ing starts next week. I so so so do not want to do this. I can picture the students now: soul-sucking energy vampires of the hyper-priviledged Penn undergrad mold. Honestly, these kids have no idea what "financial aid" is.

The sad part is, I was actually looking forward to TA-ing. Really. But that was before I learned I'd have to TA the vast time-suck that is "Cellular and Molecular Neuroscience" rather than...snything else. I have no idea what I am going to do. I'm an anatomist, for God's sake! I shouldn't have to remember how to use the Nernst equation!

I'm totally scared. I can't even get through the first chapter of the text that they finally gave us. I need a miracle. Or an adderal prescription.