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Monday, April 11, 2005

Boy Gevalt!

Well, Friday was one weird day.

First off, at the free lunch part of the undergrad symposium I ran into my science semi-crush. And Gerald brought his infant, and science crush was all over that. It was weird, I don't think I've ever seen a boy - let alone one my age - get that girly over a baby. It was almost endearing. (crushcrushcrush) Then Science Crush invited me to hang out that night. When we got back to lab, the lab tech and the future lab tech told me that he likes me, which apparently they can tell just by observing our interactions. So I got all hyperanalytical.

Then, off to Happy Hour with one possible FJH...total bust. The phrase "I LOVE classic rock!" was involved. Um, yeah.

So, totally tipsy, I went off for my date with actual FJH. And for the record, the tequila and the Indian buffet were doing okay together. But the FJH? Can you say nebbish? Not tall enough, sort of old (he's 35 and looks it), and wearing pleated pants. With a tucked-in shirt. I don't think so. He was very nice, and I think he might like me, but...just so not someone that will ever get to see me naked. Hey, at least there was free Indian Buffet in it for me.

So then I couldn't get ahold of the labmates and lab neighbors that had gone off to continue the debauchery in Center City while I was at dinner, so I went over to Science Crush's. He has the smallest studio ever in the history of the universe, but it was really well-decorated. Anyway, there were other science types, and some friends of his brothers that totally reminded me of why I left my stupid fucking hick town. Just total weirdness, and for most of the time I was the only girl.

And Science Crush and I didn't really even get to talk. More to the point, there was no making out. And he hasn't called.

I've just never tried to go out with someone I was already sort of friends with. I have no idea how it works.

On the actual BF front, I checked the lease, it isn't up until July 31 and we don't have to give notice until June. I've realized that I don't care what I have to do, I just want out of this relationship. I don't care if I have to get a roommate (and take the small room) or live in a studio or eve, God forbid, move back to West Philly. I just can't do this anymore. I'm just worried since the end of July is so far away and I couldn't get a roommate until the lease is up. I'm sad, too. I really like the BF I just can't be his girlfriend anymore. I don't have a good reason, it just isn't working. And I don't know what to do to make it better, and I don't even think I want to try.

So, so many boys, so little time, yet so much drama.


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